BUILDING STRONG MARRIAGES

The Success Behind Marriages

What actually is the success behind marriages. Why is it some marriages seem to succeed, while some fail? Our present world is characterised with incessant divorces and broken homes. Studies have shown that most married couples who have not yet divorced are not happy with their marriages. They are only staying together for the sake of the children, or financial or religious reasons, but the bottom line is that they are not happy. 


Important keys for a successful Marriage

A) Marry the right person: Now that might sound pretty simple. Marry the right person. But doesn't it make sense that so many marriages fail because the couples were not right for each other from the start. 
  Why do people marry today? some of the common reasons why people marry today are physical appearance, money, to escape unhappy home, for sexual gratification, desperation, pressure from parents, etc.  And those are all wrong reasons.
  When the realities of marriage hit, one quickly finds pretty faces and muscular bodies won't help the marriage go very far. And all the money in the world won't  but a happy marriage.
  You see, what you really marry is a mind. Marriage is more than a physical relationship. It's not just the meeting of bodies in a sexual experience; it is the meeting minds.
  Marriage is conversation, hoping, dreaming, and carrying out plans. Marriage is forming, out of what were two, a new one. Marriage is when a man and woman work toward unity, harmony, peace and happiness.
  So isn't marrying the right person one of the most important things you can do in life?
   A woman who finds the right husband would feel the same euphoria as the man who found the right wife. 
  So, if you are not married and you hope to be some day, your first task is to find the right person. This will take advice and some sincere and honest discussions. Most importantly, it will include being the right kind of person yourself, and building the qualities that will contribute to a happy relationship.


2) Understanding: Many of our readers could probably be married. So, what's the next step to a successful marriage? The most important step for married couples is understanding. We are different men and women. Or maybe you hadn't noticed. We are not only physically different. We are emotionally different. Understanding those differences between men and women is one of the most important keys to successful marriage. We must add to these the differences that come from our own individual backgrounds. 
  The apostle peter understood this. Long ago he instructed married couples: "Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel (In physical matters), and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7)
  We don't live in a unisex world. In the beginning God created the human family male and female. In marriage, each is to contribute equally important roles in the relationship. Marriage is a team effort. Not many years ago, some marriage counsellors were advising couples to consider marriage a 50-50 proposition. Each partner had a right to half of everything. The result? Marriage splits into two. 
  But a happy marriage is a 100 percent matter. Each must 100 percent consider the needs of and the contribution of the other. It's that marriage that is truly happy.
  "The apostle Paul instructed both husbands and wives to be submitting to one another in the fear of God." Ephesians 5:21. For this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31
 When a man and woman become one in marriage- when unity is formed- marital stability and happiness are the results. But when unity is shattered by bickering and selfishness, happiness suffers, and that is why some marriages fail.


3) Grow together

Marriage is not static. Life is filled with ups and downs, good times and bad times, triumph and tragedy. Marriages can be tested by the difficult times. But that's how marriages grow and change. There is also personal growth and change. Our experiences on the Job, in the neighbourhood, continuing in education and many other life's experiences bring about personal change. 
  Children usually come into the lives of most married couples. And the team expands to three or four.  In a successful family, the addition brings even greater joys. Challenges and difficulties are inevitable, but those challenges cause even more growth. The family that grows together in knowledge and wisdom is bound to be happy most of the time. Despite the difficulties and challenges that are inevitable, truly happy couples look more physically attractive to themselves as the years pass by. That 's is what lasting marital happiness do for you.


4) Old fashioned commitment 

At the sake of appearing overly simple, the most important key to marital success is commitment - commitment to the permanency of the relationship.
  Whatever happened to : "Till death do us part"? "For better for worse"? "In sickness and in health"?
  It was the kind of commitment that previous generations called to make it through the hard times. And that lack of commitment is instrumental in the modern generation's steady march to the divorce courts. 
  The apostle Paul summarised the biblical instruction on the permanence of marriage: "For the woman who  has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as she lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.
  When a man and woman find each other, marry with commitment to spend a lifetime together, grow in understanding of each other's needs and establish a spiritual foundation together - it is they who understand what makes a happy and successful marriage. Believing in the permanence of marriage  causes one to work hard on solving the problems that come.
 That's why some marriages succeed. We hope yours will.